Hello ladies,
Been a while since you read from me and
I am sorry about that. However I never said I would be the only one writing for
this blog. I threw it open to members to send in their articles, concerns,
challenges, questions and other things to the Adiva email address and we will
publish it. Not only that, we will get the experts/professionals to help answer
some of your questions, I am still waiting to hear from you all.
Anyway
I have good news and that is the fact that you will be able to watch me talk
more/elaborate on things I will write in the blog. Yes o my YouTube channel
will be very very active soon with my new project called Stella's diaries. You
all need to look out for it because it will be very exciting as usual. I will
say it the way I see it and I am sure by now most of you know I am not ashamed
or afraid to speak my mind.
Anyway let me go to the topic I want to
discuss today "keeping your man".
This
is for the married women o please this is not targeted at single girls.
Now we
know that the one thing men cannot live without apart from money is SEX. In
this forum I really don't care where anyone is from or what religion you belong
to, I will be as raw and honest as possible.
I do not understand why women especially
Africans do not talk about sex when we know that it is the one thing we do
regularly with so much pleasure.
Anyway
our men love sex to the max and we know that for a fact. So how come when we
are dating them we are so willing to give them what they want even though we
know it is wrong. The first few years of marriage is filled with sex almost
five times a day in different parts of the house and at odd hours, but after
the few years we start to back down, we start to make excuses, we start to see
it as a chore and then we let them know that we are really not interested in
them physically.
Wow,
what happened to the lady fox, the hot chic, the sexy cat that he got married
to?
What
happened to the babe that would understand the signal he would give and
immediately comply?
What
happened those times when he would race home to his sexy energetic ever ready
wife who would make him feel wanted?
I know
that most of you will say "I have kids who wear me out, I have work that
drains me, I got older, my sex drive has gone under, I have a headache" to
the point that the man will need to get a visa at your "embassy"
to visit his favorite place in the World.
When
you do this to him, how do you expect him to come home everyday to look at your
tired, grumpy and unfriendly face?
How
would you expect him to come home to you complaining about the plumber, your
child that was being rude, and your boss that gave you a hard time?
NOOOOOOO
please.
At that point he wants you to take him
to that special place were the sky is so wonderful and turn his brain around to
the point that all you say will sound like sweet music to his ears.
These
men are human beings who go through their own challenges, half of which you
don't even know because they are trying to save you from all the stress.
What
annoys me the most is when we women start to complain and nag about the men not
having time for us, and how they no longer find us attractive anymore and
that's where the suspicion starts. That's when the saying comes, "if he is
not getting it from me someone else must be giving it to him’.
I don't encourage cheating at all in
fact it goes against what the bible teaches no matter what. I will not also
judge anyone who has been caught in a web he is not proud of for one reason or
the other. I believe that if we are truly sorry for our sins and we go to God
with the determination not to sin again, he is merciful and will forgive us.
In all of this I know that all men are
not beasts, neither are they evil because we married them. I also know that men
do not get married and carry it at the back of their minds that they must
cheat. That's not how it works please. There are things that we do that trigger
things in their brains and these things drive them to do things that they
really would not have done. Most of us believe it when they say men don’t think
with their brains but they think with their penis. I beg to differ because they
know what they are doing and I don’t see how the penis can have a brain that
will control the whole body. There is always something that sparks off in the
brain that sends the signal to the penis.
You
may or may not agree with me but this is what I choose to believe. Most men we
married are not so evil and dubious, some may be cowards but cast your mind
back to the kind of man you chose to marry and see if there were traces of that
character or not.
What men want:
- They
want to feel like they are in control of things which is not bad because they
are the head.
- They
want to feel loved and like it or not they are our first babies who desire
words of affirmation no matter how macho they seem.
- They
want to feel WANTED all the time, it gives them the confidence that all men
crave for.
- They
want to know you are still sexually attracted to them.
- They
don't want you to make it obvious that you are smatter even if you are.
- They
like their space and alone time.
- They
don't want to come home to a fat mama who is the opposite of the sexy curvy
woman he fell in love with, because she let herself go after they got married.
Why should she try and look the same? She is married now, who else does she
have to impress? WRONG! Men are first of all moved by what they see before
anything else. So when they can't see that anymore or at least an effort to
getting back that body that turned them on, they'll probably lose interest in
you and find it someone else.
- They
don't want to come and hug you after work with you are smelling of onions and
oil. At least take a shower before he gets there or if there is no time spray
perfume.
- They
want to come home to a nice smelling neat and tidy home.
- They
want to walk into the bedroom with the bed all made up and clothes arranged.
Maybe a small note on his pillow saying I love you and I am glad you are home,
that definitely puts an automatic smile on his face even if for three seconds,
it keeps him interested in you
- They
want you to be a good listener not just a talker.
- They
want to know that you believe in them and you are proud of them.
- They
want to know that no matter what you will have their back and support them,
then ask questions later.
- They
just want to see that you are making an effort because no human should expect
you to be perfect.
- They
don't want another mother but they want you to take care of them the way you
would your kids.
- They
want a wife, girlfriend, sorry to say (personal call girl) which is not a bad
thing because he is your husband who is free to express his sexual desires as
long as they are not life threatening or demeaning.
There are so many things I can add and
you will not stop reading so let me end this by saying: if you do not try to do
at least 60 percent of this regularly, trust me a younger version of you will
cross his path and that is exactly how the enemy works. When that younger and
more energetic version of you catches his eye, your matter will quietly end. This girl will rock his world so bad that coming home
to you will become a chore. These
girls can give him all these things and even more that the men find it so
difficult to resist. All the money that was supposed to go to you and your
children will find their way to her pocket. They can get anything they want
from your man because they know the secret to getting and keeping him.
I know that this article will cause a
lot of controversial wahala but it is fine because in life people don't like to
hear the truth. This might also be an opportunity for people to make silly
comments but the truth is I am loving it all. I finally have the attention of
people who will ordinarily not want to listen to me or watch me.
Ladies on a more serious note, if you
are guilty of these crimes and are depriving your husband of what is rightfully
his then don't be shocked when a younger version of you gets the best of him.
I will
let you all know when the extended version of this topic will be on my YouTube
channel. God will bless your homes and give you the wisdom you need to keep it
together.
Think about this objectively, try out what you agree with and discard what you don't. Leave the messenger out of it for a change and see the bigger picture ahead.
Take care of yourselves and remember
that I love you all.