Saturday, 20 July 2013

Your Help is Needed

Hello my wonderful Adiva members, we have a young lady who desperately needs our help and advice.

Remember that our forum is devoid of gossip and judging people. From time to time we can all send in our concerns and issues and hear from other members as to what we can do to sort our issues out. We are strong, bold and confident women who are not afraid or ashamed to ask for a shoulder to cry on from our sisters. 

Please read the message below and send your advice for this young lady.

God bless you all.
- Stella Damasus

"Hi, I saw your blog on Facebook so I decided to come here for help. Well, I am a very lively person on the inside but on the outside, i am too shy and quiet. At, first i thought it was normal to experience such changes because of puberty, adolescence .... All those 
normal changes from childhood to adulthood but it's been bugging me out! 
I'm sixteen years old, just finished secondary school and I can't even sit among my mates without sweating. 
Please, I really have a lot to tell people around me but every time I try, it's like something is holding my throat. 
Is there anything you can do to help me PLEASE! " 


  1. It is tym u break free frm dat limitation called complex

  2. Wat is doin u is inferiority complex dts doin u bt d result nw is try n speak wit ur bros frnds or family members n wit dat u ll b able 2 speak among ur frnds

  3. You have to open up to an older prson maybe ur sista or friend. Start going out more but mind the frends u kip so dat they dnt take advantge of u. Gudluck

  4. First, build up your confidence by making sure you appear well and smell nice with no bad breath, make sure your words are well arranged before you say them. Next, change your mind set, erase every fear from your mind and replace it with boldness.then try speaking next time you find yourself in the midst of your peers. Even if you don't do well at first don't give up just keep trying until you get it right.Goodluck

  5. I was once in your shoes, to be sincere, I am still battling with low self esteem. I was always too shy to talk to those who I felt were better than I was. Sometimes I cried over this lack of confidence. My low self esteem was caused by my poor academic potentials when I was little. So right from childhood I felt everyone else was better than I was. But now I am better when I studied myself. Then I realised that I was not bad as I thought. I became aware that I was born with so many talents which had been hidden because of lack of confidence in myself. So instead of focusing on my weekness, I focused on my strenght. This really helped me to build a strong confidence in myself. So you have to study yourself because if you don't study yourself you won't realise many of your potential that is suppose to build yourself esteem. Then pray to God about it. Also, surround yourself with people who believe in you.

  6. Work on your own opinion of yourself. Refuse to think about insults or critical comments. Choose not to internalize abuse from your past. You win if let go of the hurt and pain and focus on creating a great life for yourself.
    2. Continually affirm yourself. Make a list of your successes, good points and strengths. Write down compliments - and read them to yourself frequently. Also, reject any negative or critical thoughts. Don’t be your own enemy. You need to love yourself.
    3. Start building confidence by taking a few steps. Begin to make decisions, or choose, for yourself – but just start small so it doesn’t feel too hard. The more you speak up, or make your own decisions, the easier and more automatic it will feel.
    4. Don’t worry about pleasing others. You have a right to think and choose for yourself, and your views are as valid as anybody else’s. Also, if you put others people first and never think about yourself, you’ll end up being used – and not treated with respect. One of the most difficult challenges you will face is getting past the opinions of others. What others think about you does not make you who you are, nor does it make you who you are not. The opinions of others are just that, opinions. They are not truth. They may not even be based on fact. The opinions of others are certainly not your reality
    5. Be your own person. Don’t try to copy others - you were made to be unique. Embrace every part of our personality, and all the little things that make you you!
    6. Don’t hang out with negative people. People with a negative attitude will rarely build you up or affirm who you are. They are likely to be critical and hard to please, and that will only reinforce your low self esteem.
    7. Don’t expect to be perfect. If you demand perfection then you’re setting yourself up for always failing – and not being good enough. The truth is we’re all learning; everybody makes mistakes. So expect that to happen – and be nice to yourself!
    Most importantly .please pray, there is nothing God cannot change

  7. I think it's part of growing up, but that you are aware of it means there might be a little more to the situation.

    I'm not a trained medical personnel, but I can talk with you if you'd like. I'd listen to whatever you have to say and give my sincere opinion on next steps, per our conversation. You don't have to take my advise, but if you'll be interested send a message to :)

    Checkout ReviewNaija to read and contribute to reviews of businesses in Nigeria.

  8. Try hanging out more with your friends, make it a habbit.

  9. Firstly,don't feel bad or weird dat u feel dat way..maybe its just a part of ur growing process.Firstly,I think get a friend...probably ur sister,or mum...or someone trustworthy who u can confide in and talk to without fear.Then,work on ur self by trying to derive inner peace,probably by praying more,...also read books and u can also write down things u really want to express..most importantly,know that u r a beautiful person,and that people love u just d way u are.

  10. This is not really a big deal to me. What I think this our young friend should do is to free her self even if she talk and make mistakes, its not a problem but she will learn from it. Dearest be free and socialise, it hurts not and its for all.

  11. The first step to solving this self discovery,first ask urself wat u are afraid of and look deep if it is really worth it to be afraid of that,fear only tries to limit and until u break loses from fear ur chances of achieving great tasks becomes limited,i've once being there.

  12. Tell your problems to God. Only He understands our innermost feelings

  13. My dear, think of every positive thing in you and tell yourself that it will be bad for you and a disappointment if you don`t give it out to make God proud that he made you. If there are areas of your life you need to brush up, send a mail to Stella am sure she will send you materials in that area. God bless you